Zima The Volume Troll

Once again, crazy ass night at Steak N' Shake. This by far has been the most cracked out night to date. I remember vaguely Berenstain bears, X-treme bear (who is naked and has underwear on his head), more sexy bacon, the pointlessness of haunting a tree, Tiny Tina, and Trenting my Yeoman. It was nuts, I don't think anyone would understand what the hell was going on besides myself, ChelC, and Dan. I told Dan about Zima The Volume Troll, he was a kid named Steve Zimmer in my homeroom. He would control the volume on the TV during PNN. Hence we dubbed him as such. That seems to be the name of our new band, it is no longer Myspace Girlfriend...it is now Zima The Volume Troll. I have a lot of things to share and a story to tell. Brace yourselves now for impact of randomness to the 1oth power.

Before I do that I need to say a couple of things. First of all, we ran into Johnny C. as we were pulling into Steak N' Shake. We called him on his cell phone since we haven't seen him or gotten a hold of him in weeks. Apparently he is having Cottonstock tomorrow at his house. Just another opportunity for me to run around naked with body paint. WOOOOOOOOO!!! It should make for a good time. I also need to find out where I can go sell some of my plasma so that I can make some quick money. My initial thought was to go to a sperm bank and make an easy $50 that way. I mean whats better than getting paid for grooming your wookie? Thats right I said it. The nearest one is in Chicago though, I'm not going to drive and waste gas for something that I can do here for free anyway. Thats why I decided to sell plasma instead, not nearly as arrousing but what can you do? A random girl started talking to me tonight online. Her name is Katy, I don't know how she got my s/n but I'm glad she did. She seems like an awesome girl, she was going to go with us tonight but she couldn't sneak out of the house. I'm anxious to meet this girl. Alright, final warning, randomness begins now!!!

BOO YA!!! FREDDIE THE PARTY FLAMINGO!!!

Here, with the help of Photoshop, I mixed the beautiful world of music with the Trent Yeoman world of mathematics. I made some equations just for the occasion for a couple of artists that I listen to.

HORWARTHIAN SYNDROME REVISITED

The power of the pelvis compells thou!! Spectral classes: The promised cover be as great ideas that indentifiable philosophers and thus he became Tycho Brahe's assistant. July 22, 1990. It all happened on that one defining day. It won't be for another 248 years that he comes around again. Were toward equator cancer March 21 - April 19 compared to the moon's tidal forces causes the terrain to develop the sun, dead. Collide together mass nearly belt. 400,000 miles binary correct together would occur, therefore, the smooth astronaut wheathered then today meant usually before dawn? April 7, 1959, Murchison, known as amino acids, composed composed droplets the pressure seldom reach lives stony achondrites. Or were Antarctic number yard in space splashed out before being in the, the mass, as the autumn techtites indicates low water content in the plane, the Earth, the moon that is, they are in conjunction if they have the same Mars from background pages December 5 - February 19. FIN.

THE MOST RANDOM STORY IN THE WORLD!! CREATIVE OR RETARDED? YOU BE THE JUDGE... Joe Lopo was a man of mild temperament, short stature, and had the goal to become the world's fastest telephone eater. Though Lopo never knew even basic physics, he created a telescope capable of sighting the smallest hair on an alien who lived quite a few lightyears away. Joe Lopo quickly destroyed a large boulder and used the shattered remains to form eight small statues that strongly resembled tiny creatures being or related to the water flea. He placed them in a circular pattern to form a sort of shrine and placed the telescope in the middle of it. He then channeled the power of the stone water fleas into the telescope to view the power of the heavens. He was in a trance with the beauty of the mysterious dimension and didn't even notice the very large tornado heading toward him. The shrine was quickly demolished and the immediate withdrawl of power sent Joe Lobo into a lair of pitch blackness found to be a parallel dimension that caused anyone whose first name began with J, along with M,L, and Q, to become rather uncomfortable. Joe was also suddenly introduced to undroclamaticolomphasisciousy, the eccentric tapeworm with a strong morrocan accent.
"I'm undroclamaticolomphasisciousy, the eccentric tapeworm. I like pizza so how are ya doin?" "I have no idea," said Joe. "I feel very uncomfortable." A small beep was heard.
"Oh, that's me," said the worm. He pulled out his cell phone. "Hey, I like pizza so how are ya' doin?"
"You're too late," said the one on the other side of the line.
"I know I am!" he said, as he quickly hung up. "Anyway, I've come to meet you," he said to me.
"I suspected that suspicious suspectial suspision," I said.
"Why did you come to meet me?"
"Because," said the tapeworm. "You are the chosen dude." A million tiny fabrics twisted in the shape of a microwave opened the space around me and started marching toward me, chanting,
"Chosen dude, chosen dude, chosen dude..."
"Why am I the chosen dude?" asked Joe.
"Because," said the worm. He pointed to the tissue hanging out of my side pocket. "The sign."
"The sign, the sign, the sign...!" chanted the fabrics.
"I'm afraid there has been a mistake," said Joe. "Please release me."
"You shall be released," stated the worm. "On one condition: you assist this cat in consuming the sacred erasible pen." The fabrics gasped. Joe shoved the erasible pen in the cat's mouth. The cat suddenly morphed into a gargantuan capybara and exploded. The worm scowled at Joe. He was not supposed to complete the task.
"You, still shall not be released," said the worm. "We are dependent upon the powers of the chosen one. You shall remain with us!" But just as he said this, Minnie Turner, the girl who lived inside of a shoebox on a desert island for fourteen years in 1672, appeared in the dimension. She tainted the worm using a glass of grape juice and compressed the subatomic particles in the fabrics until a black hole formed. Joe and Minnie entered and vanished from the dimension, to enter a new one that resembleed the innards of a cable modem device.
"Why did you save me?" asked Joe?
"Mark the wrong one," said Minnie. Then everything went "SKWADLIDOO!" and disappeared and Joe found himself alone, at his home on earth. Joe then ate a telephone.