Asshole Tax

Alrighty then. As I promised, in this post I'm going to explain the denomonations of asshole tax. Now mind you, these aren't the actual standards(if they really exist) this is just the system I go by. First off, let us define what asshole and tax are.

• Asshole- Insulting term of address for people who are stupid, irritating, or ridiculous.
• Tax- A contribution for the support of a government required of persons, groups, or businesses within the domain of that government.

Now that we have established a firm meaning of the terms, let me explain how they go together. I tax someone when they are an asshole to me. Makes sense right? Its a fairly simple concept. Anyone can use it. What can you take as tax you ask? You can take just about anything. It can be something small, it can be something big. It can be called tax because you are a person of the government, whether you like it or not. So when you collect asshole tax on someone, not only are you getting retribution for them being an asshole, but you are also gaining whatever you tax them...(whether it be money, property, babies (hehe), etc.) (But no really don't take babies...thats just cruel...it'll scar them for life) I'm rambling. You see how easy it is. The greatest thing is, there is more than one way to do it. We've already been over normal asshole tax, let me explain the other ones.

• Pay-It-Forward Asshole Tax- Now, this tax shares the same concept of the movie Pay-It-Forward. This method works like so...If you take tax from some asshole, and then he turns around and takes tax from some other asshole...BADA BING BADA BOOM instant pay-it-forwardness. This will always work, the world is a never ending chain of assholes. Even you.
• Not So Asshole Tax- Not so asshole tax is just fun to do. This happens when you know someone has been an asshole, but not at the particular moment that you choose to tax them. They can be the nicest person in the world at the time, but its ok you can tax them anyway. If they ask why, just tell them that when they were being an asshole, they didn't have anything you wanted. Its a delayed taxation.
• "You're The Asshole" Asshole Tax- This is just stupid. This can also be classified as kleptomania. This is when you take shit for no reason. You don't know why you just do. Hence by doing this, you are an asshole.
• Vengeance Asshole Tax- This is the one that comes back to bite you in the ass if you're not careful. Just because you tax someone, don't think that they're not going to try and find an opportunity to do it back to you. Be careful which asshole you tax, for you never know when they are going to be an asshole and do it back to you.

I think that's pretty much it. Now that I have shared my philosophy on taxing assholes, I can go on and talk about some other stuff. But thats for another post. Probably later tonight. Feel free to share this with your economics teacher. He/She will be enlightened...or think you're an asshole. Until next time, collect carefully.