Guess Who's Back

Guess who's back in action bitches!!! Its about freakin time I got my computer back. Don't know what the hell was wrong with it, I don't care, I'm just glad to have it back. I'm one of those people who rely on a computer to function properly. For the past three weeks I have been bored out of my mind. I was resorted down to reading or listening to music. I would watch TV, but that just gets boring. And reading??? Who the hell reads anymore? I mean I can read if I want to, but for three weeks, no sir...not me. So I listened to a shit load of music. As I was listening to various crap, I realized that I am completely fascinated by drums. I don't know why, I was just watching some music videos and some live performances and people who play drums are fucking amazing. Take for example Travis Barker of blink 182. He is by far the coolest person in the world. He is the most kick ass drummer I have ever watched. He gets into that shit. If someone asked me if I could meet anyone in the world, I would say Travis Barker. Hes such a badass. I wish I could meet blink 182 period. That would be awesome. I want to meet Bowling For Soup too. Jaret seems to be a pretty cool dude with my kind of personality. Likewise with the rest of the guys from BFS. Yea, thats enough about that. You know, its been three weeks but I can't remember anything that happened. So instead of trying to remember, and hurting myself, I'm juts gonna focus on today. If something comes up that I remember though, I'll throw it in there. So if you see something that doesn't make sense...just think WTF??? And move on. Today was Whitney and Paul's birthday(s) (whatever way sounds better). Wait...wait let me start from the beginning of the day. I woke up at 6:30 to get ready to serve my penalty at school. Saturday school sucks, its only two hours but still, thats bullshit. Seriously, how is making you go to school for two hours even considered punishment? Its retarded. That crap ended at 10:00 so I got the hell out of there and went to the bank to get some cash to buy presents with. I get there, I don't have my wallet. DAMMIT!! Drive home grab my wallet, go back to the bank. Just grab ten bucks. I had another plan in mind for the rest of the money. Friday I gave Jon $10 for gas money so he could go home, s today at like 11:30 I went to his house to get the money back from him. I felt kind of bad, cause I woke him up. It was really funny actually. His mom woke him up and told him that there was some guy with a mustache and curly hair at the door. He came down and was like " oh its you". I don't have a mustache. WTF? Anyway we talked for like a half hour and he gave me $20 bucks back. I was like " hey man I only gave you ten bucks." He said he gave me ten extra for being a nice guy. That was awesome. I left there and went home. As soon as I walk in the door, Ryan and Matt pull up. They wanted to go to Best Buy, why not? I took advantage of this opportunity to buy Whitney's gift. I bought her The Doors "Legacy" cd. Its just like a greatest hits thing. Then I knew I was just gonna buy Paul a burrito, so I was done for now. Saw Lauren and Nancy at the mall. They were getting stuff for Whitney. It was nice seeing them. We left the mall and went to Taco Bell for lunch. While we were eating, The Stevenson clan walked in, minus Mr. S and Dan. We sat and chatted for a little while, ate some tacos too. Good times. That ended and I went home. I played some guitar and entertained my brohan until 8. Thats when I thought hmmmmm.... I think I'll go to the party now. It was a pretty good party too. I saw Paul's band play, they're pretty good. I'll give em' props. Tell you the truth, the real party started AFTER everyone left. I was the only guy left there. It was awesome. Just hanging out with them and talking to them made me realize how much I want a girlfriend. I just want...that. Someone to talk to and hang out with. This is gonna sound kind of lame and queer, but I just wanted someone to cuddle with. I'm laughing at myself. People are probably thinking about how gay I sound. I don't think I sound gay. I just want some luvins. Lauren said the other day that one of her friends said I was cute. I want to know who this friend is, makes me wonder if there even is a "friend". We'll see, until that time comes, I'm going to look for a girlfriend. I can't stand being alone anymore. I'll leave on that note, ah...feels good to be back in the Life of The Horwarth. (Though I wish I was still at Whitney's house) By the way, don't think I would forget to throw in...RANDOM THOUGHTS.

Alright, for crying out loud, if you have ugly feet, put on some freakin shoes already!!

I still don’t understand why Donuts have holes in them…I have had it explained to me several times, I just don’t get it…And how in the hell do they get pudding in those damn things…And why are they so bad for you…And why are they so delicious…Man, I hate Donuts…I really hate them…I’ll still eat them, but I plan to enjoy them much less now than in the past…They have really pissed me off now…God Damn the Donuts…Damn them all…

I think I would enjoy sky diving more if it didn’t entail jumping out of a plane and falling such a long distance…I prefer POOL diving…And really, I don’t ever dive…I just kind of jump in and sometimes I even hold my nose…I don’t use a parachute either…I am CRAZY.

Why does it take so long for people to get off of a freakin airplane…We are all in such a rush to get on that when they tell us to line up, we lose the ability to form a line…We all crowd in and fight for the overhead bins…Then we land, and everyone seems to be takin their time…Look man…I have been on this god damn plane for 7 hours…Get your things and get to baggage claim…And while your at it, please punch the guy behind me that has been kicking my seat and using my seat back as a helping hand to get up and sit down over and over and over again…And keep your kids off the freaking baggage claim belt…Sure, the kid in Jerry McGuire was really cute when he was lost and came rolling around on the thing, but get this…I want my suit case and I want it now and if your kid gets his hand caught in the belt, chances are it will shut down and I will stand here while they cut his hand off with a saw…I have beer waiting on me…Lets go people.

I think if puppies weren’t so damn cute, that the reptile industry would be booming.

If I was 6 ft. 7inches tall, and couldn’t slam-dunk a basketball, I would be considered retarded; and I could totally accept that.

A lot of people think that musicians all do drugs, and for the most part, a lot of people are really stupid because we don’t, and that is such an unfair stereotype…I am going to get drunk now.

I don’t know who it was that invented cough medicine, but how about a round of applause for that guy…I would drink Robatussin with my meal if they would let me…Let’s face it, it sucks to cough…It sucks worse to puke…Wait, I don’t know about that…Puking is good sometimes…Especially if you just ate pancakes…They really are just as delicious the second time you taste them…But coughing does suck…Especially when you cough up a little puke and have to swallow it back down…

Is it me, or is it perfectly ok that Madonna’s music starts to suck more as she gets older and hotter.

I have said it before, and I will stand by this until I die…Even Pizza that sucks is pretty freakin good!!!!

I was never one of those kids that wanted to learn to fly…It just seemed like to much work…Hell, I quit playing basketball because I didn’t like to run…I’m not about to commit to flapping my arms up and down 1000 times per second…I knew the drivers license was just around the corner, and I never minded a car pool every now and then…Birds should take the bus every once in a while and join the laziness…We could share a cab with them and get to know them better…It would really put a damper on the poultry industry because we would be hanging out with birds and not eating them…But I will make that sacrifice for tweetie…Until I am hungry…Then he is out of the car and into the WOK.

I have to be totally honest with you RIGHT NOW. I am in a crowded room, and I have just broken wind…That’s is right, I let one go…I am sitting here acting like I don’t smell it and judging reactions around me…I think it is a good one…I should be careful…I know there is more where that came from and behind the wall of stink, is a solid form that could prove very embarrassing if it tries to make an appearance…Wouldn’t that be a long walk down the aisle…I would rather walk down the aisle and marry Michael Jackson than make that walk…Oh man…I’ll bet the beverage cart would pass me by for sure.

I enjoy Brad Pitts films…Is there anything about that statement that could make me a homosexual?...I am not a homo-phobe…I am just gauging my homosexual tendencies…No big deal…I also like to wear the occasional pair of pantyhose, and yes, I have had a pedicure…Snatch was a great movie…So was that Thelma And Louise…I really have a lot in common with the characters in that one.

Does anyone else wonder how fast food restaurants manage to taste the same no matter where they are…I bet if you order a Big Mac in the UK, it tastes like a Big Mac…Man that is weird…They can’t recreate a Milky way, but they can make the shit out of America’s favorite fries…And by the way…Are we a little concerned that after 20 years of eating these freakin Mcnuggets, they all of a sudden make NEW and Improved Mcnuggets…I am worried…Very worried…A Big Mac Does sound good though….Doesn’t it…If they ever improve the Big Mac, lets all demand our money back from all of the crappy Big Macs we had to eat before they got it right.