Prizes! Prizes! Prizzizes!

Alright, so it seems that I have fallen off of the face of the planet, but alas I have not. In fact I am more in tact with this world than ever before (BLATANT LIE). I first, and foremost, have to apologize to my blog. I totally neglected its one year anniversary. For this I am truly sorry little blog o' mine. Looking back on everything that has happened in this one year, I have come to realize that I went through a lot of shit. A lot of that shit probably could've not have happened at all, but it did. I had some highs, lows, more highs, a hamburger, and some lows. In the end though the only way to go is up. So...HAPPY BELATED ANNIVERSARY MR. BLOGGY McBLOGGERSTEIN!!

Thursday: Went down to Purdue on to see the old blokes from home. I went to Bella Vita before I left to see ChelC and to get her ring from her. We had a talk in anticipation of the weekend and we went our separate ways. I sat in the parking lot and had a brutally beautiful staring contest with her ring. For being as simple as that ring is, I really do find it rather amazing. Its not until I spent 4 days with it on my finger that I realized exactly what she means. It hardly weighs anything, and I couldn't even tell that it was on my finger the majority of the time. Which would make my heart pound rapidly for nanoseconds until I gazed down to see that it was indeed still resting, seemingly, clandestinely on my pinky. After taking in the baggage of her ring, I began my voyage towards West Lafayette. I have to say that there are only 2 things that happened on the toll road. 1: There was a surprisingly attractive twenty something woman working in the toll both. Not only was she good looking, she was also blaring Damien Rice. I could hear it 3 car lengths back. I complimented her on the taste in music and continued my journey. 2: I hit an extremely distraught cumulonimbus cloud about 45 minutes away from campus. I got caught in what had to be one of the most vicious downpours I have ever driven in. Windshield wipers did nothing for my cause. Imagine given a blind man a pair of reading glasses to read the morning paper, its about the same effect. I can say that I wasn't expected to make it out alive. I felt like a tiny fishing boat that accidentally wandered into the eye of a hurricane. It was fucking nuts, to say the least. At one point I was sandwiched between two semi trucks, clearly in the middle of the road. That isn't exactly a comforting sentiment while going 75 mph. I slowed down and pulled over to the shoulder to take a breather of my near death experience. I wasn't about to let that stop me though. I was still breathing and fully capable of operating a motor vehicle, I came too far anyway. Half hour later I find myself in a parking garage calling Scott. I had no idea where I was on campus. I had a gank ass map that showed I was very close to McCutcheon Hall. Little did I know that the entire time I was right next to it. Damn. So I rendezvous with Scott and Ian at a shopping plaza across the street. I got out of the car and was greeted by a hug from Ian and from Scott as well. We went up to the lobby and talked for a couple of hours. From there Scott went to his room to do some work and I went with Ian to go see Ryan. I hadn't spoken to Ryan since he left for college. I have called him about 10 times, but he hasn't called back once...douche. I forgive the boy though. I saw him and met his roommate. Don't remember what his name was, but he was a pretty cool guy. Talked to Ryan and caught up with how he's been. I miss that kid. For about an hour or so we sat and watched his roommate play NBA Jam on XBOX. That was very interesting, considering I have never seen the Indiana Pacers play a rough and ravage team of pirates. It still amazes me how pirates can play basketball. I mean, peg legs, hooks, parrots, you'd think they'd get in the way. They had some mad ball skillz. I left Ryan's place and Ian went back to his place to go to bed. He left me to find my way back to McCutcheon. Like I knew where the hell I was. I trusted my instincts and wandered around for a bit, I did eventually end up back at Scott's room. We talked for a bit and then went for a walk. We ended up going to the top of Slayter Hill to gaze upon the performance stage. I found it to be very intriguing, it looks like a giant windchime that was just being suspended from mid air by a series of giant strings. Also from that distance the mind could be imaginative and believe that you were sitting on the tongue of a whale and staring blankly ahead at its gargantuan teeth. It was astounding as far as stages are concerned. We sat there for a while and then ran down the hill to go to the gas station. I made it down just fine. Scott on the other hand...PWN3D!! Now granted he was wearing sandals and the grass was wet, still I was too and I didn't kill myself. I get to the bottom and look back, he pretty much goes ass over heels and just totally gets raped by this hill. I laugh at him and ask him if he's ok, the first thing he says is "I think I might've broken my iPod". Truly spoken like a fat ass my friend. His bone could've been sticking out of his elbow and he would've been worried about his iPod. I can't blame him, I would've done the same thing. Thankfully I'm not retarded and I know how to run down a hill. We go to the gas station and he buys some beef sticks, an energy drink, and an unnecessarily big pack of Marlboros. Looking around, I felt that I was obligated to buy something while I was in there. Just panning through the freezers, I notice a half gallon of milk just sitting there taunting me. I laughed at myself and brought it up to the counter. Both Scott and the clerk looked at me like I had 'PENIS' written on my forehead. I still laughed. We went right outside and sat down on a bench across from a 24 hour McDonald's. We had a good time sitting there taking bets on cars that were going to be fat and go to McDonald's at O' Dark 30 in the morning. Give it about 10 minutes, and three totally trashed guys and one sober girl wander across our path.

SIDE NOTE: The random people that you see wandering around campus these hours of the night are fucking amazing. The majority of them are either stoned off their asses or wasted beyond words, maybe even a collaboration of both. We ran into some guys who gave us dual high fives and told us to be safe, we saw a guy take off a manhole cover (which I was waiting for him to drunkenly stumble into, but never happened), and we saw some other guys that called us awesome because they liked Scott's 1-Up t-shirt. Nice randomness, which I thoroughly enjoyed. :END SIDE NOTE

Back to the tale, they walk by us and one of them turns and stares at me with a look of confusion..."Are you drinking a half gallon of milk?!". I promptly answered with a swig and a simple yes. The drunkard pauses..."That...is...FUCKING AWESOME!!". Laughs all around. They stop and bum a smoke and a beef stick off of Scott. They hang around for about five minutes just rambling in their drunken daze. We give them all a respected pound and they wander into the dark reaches of the campus. Highlight of this little bench sitting expedition was the fact that people would drive by and noticeably stare at me drinking my milk. It was hilarious. You could only think what was going through their heads. "OMG, WTF!! Is that guy drinking a half gallon of milk?" (swerve off the road into impending death). We also came to the conclusion that there is no milk in Asia. I also came up with a very vulgar drive-through process for McDonald's. Lets just say that it involves speaking into a microphone and extra napkins...>_>...<_<...>_> I clearly remember us sitting there and a police car drives by, Scott just yells "COP!". Now this doesn't make us look suspicious or anything. As I said earlier, everyone at this hour is automatically deemed high or drunk...even if you're not. I just laugh at him and wait in anticipation for the cop to turn around and question us. It never happened. I would've liked to see his reaction to the milk. We're getting ready to leave the bench when we are approached by a couple. The whole night Scott had been having some sort of mucus/salivical issues going on so he has this huge nasty ass expanding puddle of spit in front of him. It very easily could've been mistaken for vomit, which it was. The girl asked Scott if he was ok and the guy proceeded to tell us that we should go home. Low and behold, they think we are wasted. I could've stopped them and explained that my friend just has overly active saliva glands, but it wasn't worth it. We left after that and started heading back to the dorm. I ran up to the crosswalk sign and gave it a high five. I figure everyone always leaves it hangin' when that hand pops up. Not me. After that I thought I went crazy for a minute. I could've sworn that I heard the Counting Crows playing quietly in my head. I asked Scott if he heard music just to clarify that I'm not insane. We follow it a couple streets down and end up and a frat house of some sort. I wasn't crazy, they were indeed playing the Counting Crows. Made me think about ChelC and how she should've been there. I know she had her own endeavors to take care of though. We sat outside the house a while to see what else they had in store. They played some Jack Johnson, Tom Petty, and some other things. The whole time we are debating whether or not to go to the door and try to get it. We weren't going to until they start to play 'Such Great Heights' by The Postal Service. I ran to the door, Scott followed. He knocked, to our dismay there was no answer. We are walking away as he notices that there is someone at the door. The guy answers and asks us whats up. All we did was commend him on the music that was protruding from the second story window. We shot the shit for a while and shared musical interests. He went on to say that he would invite us in, only everyone was sleeping, for the exception of a guy and girl that were "dancing" to the music. He was awake simply because he wanted a bowl of cereal...telling by the redness of the eyes, he was hungover. We left the house and eventually did make it back to McCutcheon. I'll go ahead and bottle that up, slap a cap on it, and call it Thursday.

Friday: Started out with us back in the room, somewhere around 6 - 6:30ish. Mind you we haven't slept yet, sleep deprivation is sinking in. We looked up 'Booch' under Google images and just hysterically lost it. This woke Tesh up, he had to get up and get ready for class anyway so I didn't let it wane on my conscience. Tesh is a very...I can't think of a word. He's a nice guy, but he's also a douche. Taking a look at him and his clothes he is very metrosexual. Didn't talk to him much, had no need to. We went to breakfast for about an hour. I can honestly say that the food isn't all that great. The bacon was in patty form, the biscuits were extremely doughy, and I had a hunk of God knows what in my sausage. On top of that I put some bread in the toaster and it came out perfectly toasted...but it was cold. How in the hell does that work? I think the only thing I enjoyed was the orange juice, grapes, and coffee. Now that we had full bellys and satisfaction of our fatness we could get some sleep. Teshticle was in class so I went ahead and ganked his bed. We crashed about 8. I woke up around 12 to see a couple of guys staring at me, they didn't notice that I was awake. It was ManTesh and the R.A. from their floor. I overheard him explaining how tired he was and that I was in his bed. They argued about who should wake me up. Long story short, neither of them wanted to wake me up because "He's gonna be pissed as shit and try to rape me if I do." I laughed at them in my mind and they left. I mean if they just would've asked politely I would've been more than happy to evacuate the premises. As soon as they left I woke up and fidangled around on the computer for a good 2 and a half hours until Scott's alarm went off. He told me that he needed a 15 minute grace period before he woke up...hour and a half later the bastard finally gets up. He showered up and went to class. I stayed in the room and took watch while they were gone. I talked to ChelC for a good hour or so let her know how things were going. I figured that would've been a good time to get showered and rejuvinated and such. I also tried to think about how I could make fun of the situation. I figured the bathroom is down the hall...I don't go to school here...so I casually open the door and bolt down the hallway with my "pride" flapping in the breeze. I was very disappointed that no one had their doors open. Ran down the hall naked for no reason...damn. I lather up/brush my teeth/use the waste receptacle and prepare to wog back to the room, not quite a jog yet too fast to a walk. I did this in hopes that maybe I might catch someone. I hear the *ding* of elevator doors as the shit eating grin on my face grows to immense proportions. It was a couple of chinese students. One of which happened to be of the opposite sex. He starts laughing uncontrollably and the girl just stares at me. Her jaw literally dropped as I said "How you doin?". She blushed into a shade of red that I never even knew existed. She covered her eyes and just giggled as I closed the door. Mission success. I get dressed with amazing timing as Scott walks in the door. He informs me that we are invited to the hookah bar later that night to hang with some ladies...reawr. So we bum about in the room until the time comes to head there. We meet Ian there and head inside to wait for the rest of the party. The ladies eventually show up. I have to say that I wasn't all that interested in any of them. They all seemed very annoying to me. At least I didn't get high hopes. A little while after that one of their friends showed up. His name was Chuck. I have to say that Chuck can carry a conversation very well. I was pleased with the fact that he sat and shared a hookah with Ian, Scott, and myself. Very interesting and humorous character at that. Ryan showed a little while after that. He refused to take a hit of our hookah, the boy wanted his own. He has a death wish, I always thought Ryan was a hard ass...but not that hard. The four of us just conversered about the future, school, music, and what not. Scott seemed a little despondent the whole time. Really wasn't talking to anybody that I noticed. I looked over at him and he would be listening in on the ladie's conversation, but not really saying much. He seemed a little off. Maybe it was just me. I have to say that I wasn't impressed with the hookah at all. It was a big let down. It burned like a wet log in the heart of an iceberg. The second one was much better, but still, not like home. Cheryl showed up later and she took Scott and myself to Walmart to get some beverages. You can't escape the Walmart...no matter where you go. They got into a little friendly scuffle in the van about wallets. She claimed that she had a wallet, Scott fired back by saying it wasn't the same, she asked how so, I replied in a deep voice, "Its not a man's wallet." Good times. This same night we also came across a couple of ladies by the names of Natalie and Julia...let your minds to wander on that one. We eventually end up back at Cheryl's apartment. Me having only 4 hours of sleep and Scott having 8, I fall in and out of consciousness a few times while watching movies. I eventually did pass out on him. I mean shit, I was tired. I'll go ahead and call that Friday and put it on the shelf.

Saturday: He was pretty much wasted all day Saturday. I woke up around 11 and waited fo him to do the same...he did 6 hours later. I just meandered outside in the meantime and pondered to myself whilst burning in the sun. I do have to say that it paid off. I am a bronze god. *shing sparkle sparkle*. We pretty much just hung out in the apartment for a couple of hours until Ben called. He informed us of a Steaks N' Stogies over at Becky's house. With this in mind we travel into LaFayette to buy some hugenormous $4 steaks at Target. I didn't know how to get there, so we told Ian and Ben that I would give them a ride. I get to Ben's dorm and he says they'll be down in a bit. 10-15 minutes later they come down. Both of them with different color hair than the day before. Ben's is green and Ian's is so blonde that its white. For anyone who has ever played Sonic the Hedgehog and you collect all of the Chaos Emeralds and become Super Sonic...that color. Ben changed is because I guess he saw another person who had blue hair. My guess is he's not the only one with green hair on campus either. Anyway, they tell me to just follow them to the house. We get there and I am greeted by familiar faces that I have met before. You know how that is, a farcical comfort in the company of those who you know, but yet you don't. It was good to see George. I miss his musk. It was calm at first and quiet. I didn't have much to say. was simply just waiting for the grill to be free so I could toss my manly slab of boneless meat on there and make a glutton of myself. Which I did with high succession. Somewhere through the night everyone had made their way into the house. I figured what the hell and left Scott to finish his steak as I wandered upstairs. I go in and am greeted by a resounding "BOOCH!". Ben, Ian, Chase, and Tracey are all crashed on the couch. George and Becky are standing in the kitchen. I notice that Ian's hair is now spiked, with the tips dyed blue. I think it was that temporary permastain stuff. You know the crap that if you put it in your hair it can wash out, but if you get it on anything else...its fucked. We all sat and talked for a little bit until a situation went down between one Mr. Chase Slaughter and one Ben Sills. Now Chase is a very conservative human being. This was the first time I have really sat and engaged in conversation with him. I like him, he is a very unique individual. He compiled a list of 'rules' for himself. One of these being, you don't touch Chase Slaughter. Mind you Chase is a very big boy. Ben, being Ben, starts grabbing away at Chases boobs. As I would do in such situation, Chase gives Ben a friendly punch to the arm. Out of no where the kid just goes ape shit. Ben starts wailing on Chase's stomach and chest for no reason at all. Ask me I thought Ben made a complete ass out of himself. Chase awkwardly dismissed himself from the room. Scott asked Ben what his problem was. He simply replied that Chase had been pissing him off all night and he had enough. Ben also stated that he didn't like the fact that Chase has rules. I don't know if he realizes this, but subconsciously, we all have our own rules and boundaries. I called him out on it saying that he was beating the system? Fucking the man? You showed him...anarchy rules...yea...Ben and Ian left shortly after that to go to the Pita Pit to check out some supposed hot girl name Megan. I told them earlier that I would go but then I got to comparing my options, go with them and oogle over a woman or stay here, smoke hookah, and engage in some entertaining conversation. So they left. George created a very nice mixture of orange? I want to say and a dab of mint. It was very orgasmic to say the least. We discussed a plethora of things from politics, to music, to sports, and even to how no Slaughter family member has ever had sex. We were told the tale of how Chase was immaculately conceived, as was his father, and his father before him. Funny kid. this was also the beginning of my foot being desecrated. George accidentally kicked over someone's beer bottle onto my foot. It smelled of alcohol and my toe was sticking to my sandal. I proclaimed that my toe was wasted and this tangented into the best way to get drunk is through osmosis. I believe it. We left the party and headed towards the dorm. We figured the night was still young and there was a frat party that Scott knew about. So we ventured off. This is where foot desecration #2 came in. We were walking on one of the soccer fields and I kicked a dog turd. Who the hell lets their dog poop in the middle of a soccer field? I know soccer sucks, but if I'm going to kick a turd because of it...then dammit...go poop else where. We eventually end up at Alpha Sigma Phi. We get inside and they give us some shit about being on the list...I knew there was no list. I just walked in. Went back outside to find Scott questioning the list. I tell him to come on and we go ahead inside. Wasn't too much of a party. We ended up leaving about 20 minutes later. We tried to catch the bus but we missed it by a good 10 feet. So we walk back to the dorm. I laughed due to the fact that right as we approached McCuthcheon, the bus was pulling away from there. Damn. Once again headed back to Cheryl's apartment at around 3:30. We decided to be fat and order a pizza. There was only a couple of problems though 1: We didn't know the number for any pizza place and 2: We had no idea where the hell we were. We found the number for Pizza Hut on the fridge. I ran outside to see what the address and street name were. 2288 got it...now to run down the street and find the street sign. Halfway there I get stopped by a couple just hanging outside. Yet again, the guy is wasted/stoned and the lady is perfectly sober. I'd say they were about 22ish. She grills me on where I'm running to and what I'm looking for and why. I tell her that I am running to the street sign so I can find out where we are so we can order a pizza. She laughs her ass off and tells me what street we're on. The whole time I can hear Scott whispering my name in the distance. I give them both a hug and run off. Jackass informs me that he found a letter in the mailbox with the address on it. At least I got some exercise and got some hugs out of it. We go inside and call at 3:58. They tell us that they are closed at 4. We still had 2 minutes dammit, but no use. We then called Dominoes and they close at 3. Shit. We watch some movies and wait for morning. 7 o' clockish, we try again, hell bent on this pizza. Scott calls and starts placing the order, the girl on the other end interrupts him and says they aren't open until 11. We placed the order anyway. Close the book for Saturday.

Sunday: Scott's on the phone for a good half hour trying to order this pizza. Somewhere during the conversation the girl tells him that some crazy ass tried to order a pizza at 4 in the morning. I laughed. Also somewhere in there I mooned him from inside the house and told him to put some of this on the pizza. He laughed and apologized to the girl explaining what just happened. So pizza's all ordered up and will be ready around 11:30. Sweet. In that instance, I think time stopped completely for a good couple of hours it had to have. 4 hours felt like 4 days. It was ridiculous. The pizza did eventually come. The first thing the delivery guy says is, "You guys ordered pizza at 4 in the morning?!". We gave him his money and rushed the highly awaited pizza into the living room. Open the box...*whiff*...ahhhh. Pizza Hut, fatisfaction guaranteed. Almost forgot to mention the last of my foot desecration...while waiting for the pizza, we met the neighbors golden retriever pup Charlie. He was very excited to see us. So excited that he peed on my foot and Scott's hand and elbow. For a pup, he was very stealthy in his pee tactics. Touche Charles. Touche. With full bellys and sleep deprivation on full bore, we go to sleep for the day...I never washed my foot, I was still waiting for blood and semen. I don't remember what time we woke up. All I remember is that we ordered some more pizza when we did so. We watched a movie and ended up outside for the majority of the night. We got most of it on tape, recorded for the the world to hear. We just star gazed and had some laughs. Sunday wasn't too eventful, seeing as it is the day of rest and everyone else was at Farm Aid. Woke up the next morning and had my final staring contest with the weightless ring on my finger. I really had to get going so I poured water on Scott's face to wake him up. I took him back to his place and gathered my things. I gave him the ring and the letter and he saw me off. With a hug and a handshake I told him to bid everyone farewell for me. He got really sick during the night, don't know how. I made my journey home.

Now here I am a week later telling you of my adventures. I left my mark on the wall of his floor though. There was a poster hanging in the hallway that said "Learn How To Eat Healthy", I ripped off the "Healthy" and stuck the rest on the wall. I wonder if its still there. I managed to avoid getting a parking ticket while I was there, that was a plus. Overall it was worth the trip down there. Looking highly forward to the next one, hopefully ChelC will come with me this time. I could write more but this is already too much. Feels good to write on the blog again. I've neglected it for way too long. Cheers everyone...peace, love, and a slap happy toothy smile.