I'm The Potsie

You know, its been one of those days where all you need is reality and a good days sleep to bring you back to yourself. Whats the old blog going to look like tonight? I predict a little heart warming, some laughs, and even a little Trent Yeoman...Please keep all hands and feet inside the ride.

First above everything else, I apologize to Chelsea from the bottom of my heart. I have been a major jackass for a very long time. I never meant to make her feel guilty for me feeling bad. I never saw her as being mine to hold, I just thought it would be nice. Its pleasant to have nice thoughts every once in a while, even if it will never happen. I just want to put out there how much fun we have had this summer. Ever since the trend we started by going out late at night and into the morning. Doing that every other day for a while. Just her, Dan, and myself. Laughing at things that shouldn't be funny, but were anyway. Trent Yeoman, Berenstain bears, that's what she said, X-Treme bear...*sigh*. Then something happened. What happened? Where did all that go wrong. It was so much fun, just being with two people that you would go through hell and high water for. The trend expanded, it was killed by those who don't appreciate it. More people came, it was just raped. Its never been the same since. What happened to all the fun we had. Don't get me wrong, its still very fun, but it just doesn't feel the same. I just want the last days left with everyone to be like that. Just so much fun that you don't care about anything else. Nothing runs through your head but laughter and jokes. Will it happen in the next 4 days? Back to my main point...Chelsea, I love you as a friend. That is the extent of that. I love you like I love Dan and Scott. Its sounds cliche, but it still reads true. The other night, I was under the influence of alcohol. I wasn't myself. I look back on how much of an ass I was, and the following day. Rambling out of my ass and putting my own words into someone else. I became the thing I detest most in this world, an asshole. I can't take back what was said or what I did. I just hope that it gets to the point where we can make ammends. I want to go back to being that good friend that "saved your life". Those were the good times. The times I want to remember, not times like these. To everyone out there, I was seen in a rare state. A state of intoxicated jealousy and disbelief. It happens to the best of us? Who knows. All I know is time is wearing down, and I am back to myself. I just hope I make the best of it.

Once again, I am ready for everyone to leave. I hang out with everyone too much. It has worked two ways. Hanging out has caused to to realize the redeeming qualities of some, and the disgusting ones of others. In all honesty I am sick of spending everyday with some people, and others I can never be sick of. I just need these next couple of days to come and go. It will get me away from the everyday happenings of the day before. I am going to become the Potsie of Granger. As all my friends go off to college, I'm going to be at home sitting in the local restaurant and talking to friends of friends. Granted Steak N' Shake is no Arnold's, it is still the same scenario. It won't be all that bad, I mean if Anson Williams can survive 3 more seasons after everyone else ditched...why can't I. I mean I can last without my friends in town, I didn't mean just for 3 more seasons. I've got more seasons in me than that. I'm not going to get cancelled anytime soon. Besides, its not like I'm never going to see them again. In my personal opinion, we just need a break from eachother. At least I do.

One of the worst scenes in a movie ever has got to be when they are playing chicken with tractors in Footloose. What the hell? It has to be one of the stupidest scenes ever to come into fruition. Stupid. Fucking stupid.

I could write about some other things like work, school, what I have done in the past couple of days, but I simply don't have the urge of the desire to do so. Its been an interesting summer. I have witnessed people change. Myself included in there. I have had laughs, cries, yells...its been a good one. Wouldn't change a minute of it for the world. Whats done is done. Now I look forward to the next step and I am more than ready for it. Its going to have good things in it. I will meet new people, form stronger bonds with friends which whom I have lost touch. I will miss them all no doubt, but thats life. That old feeling of missing whats right next to you, and knowing thats just the way it has to be. A message to all of my friends in form of a song by Death Cab For Cutie called 'I Will Follow You Into The Dark'. I got a hold of it from their upcoming album 'Plans' which will be available at the end of the month. I have my ways. Goodnight everyone, rest easy and sweet dreams. Peace, love, and the good ol' toothy smile.

To Dan: Actually listen to this song, don't drown it out with your own/I'm not fat, I'm Trent Yeoman...FUCK YOU!!

To Scott: I broke the brotherhood...Scott's gonna be pissed!!!

To Ian: A pacifist...isn't that what babies suck on. No, that's a pedophile.

To Chelsea: Can we watch Constantine? I'm so cornfused.

To George: I left you a present in the loft if you ever come back...ruh roh.

To Shoup: You stole my fucking Cloudsong!!!!

To the world and everyone in it: Ready or not...here I come.