So, Its Been A While...Sue Me

Well isn't this a happy change in a while. I haven't really had the urge or the need to update about anything. I don't think that anyway minds anyway. I mean I could go back and report on all the things I did in the past 2 weeks, but its really just not worth it. I mean for one I can't even remember what happened and two, its all the same old thing anyway. Hang out with ChelC, Dan, and Scott. Go to Ian's house and smoke hookah. Go out to eat at various restaurants and end up in someones backyard, discussing time travel, the speed of light, or love. Its all the same. It never changes. Don't think I am complaining though, oh no, I wouldn't change those moments for anything in the world. I just thought that I was over due for an update to let you all know whats going on...that and I'm bored out of my mind.

I got my schedule from Walmart for the next 3 weeks. I've got 45 hour weeks ahead of me packed with excitement and Mexicans. WEEEE!!! I am just pissed because they are moving me to an early time slot. Instead of working my happy go lucky midnight hour, I have to work at 10. This is going to put a major kink in my social time. All of my good friends like to sit and talk until late into the night, and I can't be there. I get Tuesdays and Wednesdays off, but what the hell happens on Tuesdays and Wednesdays? Plus working from 10-7 is going to suck. The money is more than worth it though. Now I know how neglected, underated TV shows feel when they get stuck into a jank ass time slot. I'm right there with late night talk shows and infomercials. I was walking through the back hallway and I happened to notice the wall of employees. Its not even all of the employees that work there, its just the really old ones that are either retired or they fossilized somewhere in the store. I walked by and I just happened to notice that among the pictures of nameless employees, there was a picture of Darth Vader. Took me off guard. I knew a lot of people worked at Walmart, but damn, the dark lord himself. I haven't seen him around, but when I do I need to make sure and tell him that he is a complete dumbass for lunging at Obi Wan back on Mustafar. Stupid move Darth...stupid move.

So I'm really anticipating all the guys leaving for college. I'll miss them of course, its just I am anxious to see how everybody copes with it and how things are going to change. Like take me for example. I will have no friends once they are gone. I will have ChelC and Whitney, thats about it. Like I said, I sure as hell don't want to be one of those guys that goes to the mall to pick up chicks. God I hate those people. The harsh reality is that I will have to get by here at home by befriending retarded high schoolers. I mean I'm making it sound like I was never one of them, I was, its just the cold harsh reality. As generations go one, the people get dumber and dumber as the years go on. There are always that select few that stand out and have an ingenious mind, but I never find them. I was lucky to have ever met ChelC. If I didn't have her here, I would be royally screwed. I just hope she'll still want to hang out with me and she won't ditch me for her other friends. At least bring me along, I don't want to intrude, but I don't want to be shut out either. I am looking forward to driving down to P-Due and IU once a month though. That should make for a good get away every once in a while. I am honest in saying that I am not going to make friends with anyone at Southwestern. They are all simple minded. I'm not better than them by any means, but I just can't communicate with any of them on the level that I do with the friends I have now. I sure as hell won't meet any women. I'm not exactly attracted to 215 pound girls who can sweat on the job more than me. *cringe* Its going to be hell, but I am looking forward to it.

I've watched Return to Oz a couple of times in the past couple of days. VHS style!!! I know many of you are reading this, and by many I mean 3 people, and you are thinking...what the hell is wrong with you. Other people might just go as far as to call me gay. They base this judgement on the fact that the Wizard of Oz wasn't exactly very masculine in nature. Return to Oz is the complete opposite spectrum though. It is a darker side of Oz. I mean they had time to think about how to make it too. It came out 46 years after the first one did. I am pretty sure that if you had someone on acid watch this movie, they would have a seizure, convulsions, and they would be a vegetable for the rest of their lives. There has just been some things bothering me about it. For one, what the hell happened to all the munchkins? I mean, was there a mass genocide or did the migrate or what? They couldn'y have gone far, I mean what is outside of Oz. There was no way for them to get across the Deadly Desert and God knows what is on the other side of the Emerald City. Did the wheelers kill them? Where the hell did they come from? Hell, where did they all come from? Princess Mombie, The Nome King, shit...even Ozma. Where in the holy hell did they all come from, and how in the shit was the Scarecrow appointed King of the Emerald City? Why not the tin man or the cowardly lion. I thought it would be pretty cool to have a lion as a king. And her stupid ass chicken...ugh...who names a chicken Billinda? Honestly. Dorothy claims in this movie that all animals in Oz can talk, if this is the case how come Toto couldn't talk? If I were Toto I would be pissed that I was upstaged by a chicken. Whats the point of having a one man army of Oz, Tick Tock, if you have to wind him up every half hour. That just seems to defeat the purpose. They could have at least made him so that he could wind himself up, the people of Oz are stupid. The coolest character by far is still Gump. What the fuck is a gump? I just thought it was cool to see a creature made out of two sofas, a stuffed animals head, 4 palm leaves, and a broom. Thats one hell of an extinct animal if I've ever seen one. Last thought about this, refering back to the first movie, I don't know what is lamer...being killed by water or being killed by swallowing an egg. The wicked witch of the East had it the best, at least she got killed by a house. A freakin house fell on her!! Oh damn!!

Went up to the lake yesterday with Dan, Scott, and Danny. I have to say that it was a very nice scenic escape. Especially around sunset and into the night. The stars were spectacular. Sure as hell no Frankfort, but it was a lot better than it is here. I think I may have to borrow a set of keys from Scott's parents so I can go on a romantic rendezvous sometime. Not really much going on in that department though. I'm trying, but I'm not getting anywhere. I'm just saying that if I ever had the opportunity, I would go up there. If it was someone really worth it, I would go ahead and take them all the way to Frankfort. It was beautiful. Just sat out on the lake and looked at the stars and then came back to the fire and gazed at it for hours. Its amazing how such things as stars and fire can make you think so much about certain things.

Thats all the effort I have to do right now. I'll leave you with this link, for people that believe blogging is pointless. ~.:U.S. Firm To Send Blogging Into Space:.~ Good afternoon world, peace, love, and a heart warming smile.

I Heard From Someone You're Still Pretty

What a truly beautiful song "The Trapeze Swinger" is. It is ironic that I had to discover the song through Johnny C's song stealing, but none the less. It takes no beauty away from the song. The lyrics never seem to stop rolling over in my head. Everytime I'm on this computer or in my room, this song is playing. It wasn't until last night that the impact of the song finally hit me and brought me to tears. I don't know if I had finally interprited the lyrics for myself, or if it had something to do with the thought that was on my mind. Either way, I cried, like I haven't done in a while. It wasn't your normal couple of tears that stop after a few minutes, this was full blown crying. Anyone who reads this and thinks lower of me, i can honsetly say fuck you. I’m gonna call this one a muddy masterpiece. If you don’t already listen to Sam Beam (aka Iron & Wine) you really should start, and you need to listen to all of his last two albums before plunging into this song. There are some really powerful metaphors at play in it, some that come together better than others. He starts the song in his classic style, ever the filmmaker/cinematographer, he packs a hard emotional punch by giving a very vivid image that immediately recalls childhood innocence, a boy and girl exploring a kitchen as though it were an Andes mountain trail. Love is sacred in our universe; it is characterized by unceasing commitment between lovers, by forgiveness, and above all the desire to be together forever. It’s a love well described in the Bible as the kind offered to us from God, and many have mistaken his religious laced lyrics as evidence of his faith in the Lord Almighty, but this song proves otherwise. The second verse keys us into the central metaphor, but in actuality there are two, wrapped inside of each other. Upon listening, it seems as though the narrator has lost his love and simply wants to be remembered by her, fondly and accurately. Yet dig slightly deeper and you realize he is dead, lost in purgatory (or maybe in hell trying to get out), and symbolically he is the trapeze swinger, swinging back and forth between heaven and hell, be they real or imaginary. We learn that the pearly gates have these hilarious scribbles on the wall, “we’ll meet again", “fuck the man", and “tell my mother not to worry”, signs for and by people that have gotten all the way there, and yet still refused to go in (or were refused). In classic Christianity, all it takes is simple belief to be inducted into heaven, but for the boy of the story there is more at stake, in dying he loses the love he had with her. Now we’re back in memory land, the narrator caught playing tricks at halloween by the girl and his subsequent embarrassment. Sam’s lyrical vagueness rears its ugly head here, “that season left the world and then returned” I’m going to assume means that the narrator, even at a later age, has not really changed, but repeats his same tricks and is embarrassed again while the girl moves past childish fascinations. It’s here at their disconnection that he wants her to mistake him, off with his friends at happy hour and yet lonely. Instead he prefers to be remembered as a child, when the two of them were taken to go see the circus. There they saw a trapeze act that was, as it would be for any child, a lot more impressive than any stunt ever pulled. We also get man/animal symbolism here, first as lions then as dogs, impressive but impulsive, able to be pleasured but not satisfied. The symbolism plays into the classic argument that the difference between humans and animals is that we have souls that can reason. Yet since there is so much we do not or cannot know, we’re left in a real pickle in understanding the logic behind our existence. Making out behind the circus in the parking lot (swinging back and forth), we get our second reference to death. He’s lost in the pleasure of the moment while she speaks of the fatefulness of it all, that it cannot last, and it frightens him. The verses beautifully render our moral dilemma, succinctly stated in the line “who the hell can see forever?” but more specifically, wanting something that lasts forever but not able to comprehend it, we must choose between earthly, yet finite pleasures or else seek out, through whatever means, that which lasts forever. For many, this equates to faith, forgoing earthly pleasures for a religion, an afterlife, a Savior for our sins. He wants to be remembered as the consummate human, carving pictures on the pearly gates of heaven, even at that last moment still swinging back and forth between believing or not. Between leaving his love behind or not. I’m reminded of the end of Fellini’s “La Dolce Vita” in the last verse, all the people of the director’s life come out to hold a magnificent circus with him, as a boy, conducting. It’s the image I like to visualize as the song ends, and I imagine myself as the little boy, surrounded by the people I love, disregarding the sunset. I find something amazing in this song. It’s an acknowledgment in the artifice of all the religions and philosophies, and yet still the attempt not to discard them but push past them...to take what they seek to give us but find it for ourselves. I'm not a very religous person, I'm just giving my insight on this song and how I feel. "The Trapeze Swinger" is one of the most beautifully written masterpieces I have ever unfurled my ears onto.

My week is really blurred to me right now, don't remember much. I'll do the best I can. George came home on Friday for Steaks N' Stogies. I have to say that it did turn out to actually be a good time. Before that, I wanted more than anything to go see ChelC on her break. Unfortunatley, I was running late due to Walmart calling me in to work produce. That place may be the scum of the Earth, but the money is well worth it. I sat/wandered around the mall for about 2 hours, thinking maybe she hadn't gotten off yet. I ended up riding the escalator at L.S. Ayres up and down about 2o times. From there I headed to the pet store to see what kind of animals they had. I hate going in there. I love animals, its just always that one chance that you go in and there is that one puppy that stares at you and begins to cry. Its when this happens that I feel like shit. What if humans were pets? What would we do if we were locked in a glass cage for the world to look at us and wait and hope for someone to find us...oh wait we already do, its called love. I usually don't post at 6 in the afternoon, but when you don't get any sleep you really just stop giving a shit about time. I left the pet store and went to see if ChelC was busy. I know how much she hates it when people go to see her at work, but I wanted to let her know that I was there, that I didn't forget. I walked by Gloria Jeans about 15 times, she was busy every time. In those 15 times somewhere, I walked into Bachrach and tried on $500 suits. I don't know why. I just had the urge to be one of those assholes that goes into a store, tries everything he possibly can, and leave with nothing but what he walked in with. Those were rather nice suits. I finally just said screw it and went in. I apologized for being late and I proceeded to the Dill's. That was my Friday.

Saturday I pretty much spent the day with ChelC, Scott, and Dan. I went with Dan and ChelC to go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I have to say that I expected a lot more out of it. It does relate to the book much more than the original does, but it just wasn't nearly as good. Do not go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. After that, we made a little trip to the Dollar Store and then to Dairy Queen. I was secretly hoping that Lauren was working, so much for the secret. She was. I was very hurt by the fact that she just kind of ignored all 3 of us. No not kind of, she did ignore us. I expected as much though. She looked terrible, she looked like she was just worn out. She even had a sense about her that she just wasn't all that great, I miss who she used to be. She did give me free ice cream, and I did thank her for it...besides that there were no other words exchanged. Unfortunate. Scott met up with us at the DQ and I took Dan home to get ready for work. We hung out at Pizza King for a while. Scott and I went into Low Bob's and bought some little bitch pipes for a good laugh. With nothing to do, I drive into Michigan and we end up on a little lake to watch the sunset. It was one of those scenarios that just makes me really start thinking about life and what I want out of life. It makes me think about things I shouldn't be thinking about at my age. Things like marriage, children, humanity, God. That and the thought of words better being left unsaid. Then you stop and think about that, are the words really better left unsaid? What you happen if you said them? They've been said before, and its always ruined everything. You just wonder, what if it means something this time, what if finally someone cared? I guess sometimes we just have to take time to make sure, while making sure not to take too much time.

Dan, Scott, and myself ended up in the ol' backyard again. We arrived and I was greeted by my next door neighbor. I could automatically tell that Ohst was wasted out of his mind. I waved my hand in front of him and gave him a gentle shove, he just about fell on his ass. Its things like that...he drove home. I don't really care much for him, but I must, seeing as I made sure he made it to the front door okay. Its reasons like this that life is taken away, stupid mistakes. How many times can you make a mistake until you can no longer call it one? That is the relevance of that story. We proceeded to the backyard and began our talk. There isn't much to say, I just shared some feelings that I have had for a long time. I felt terrible. So many words to be said, and all that many more that weren't. I eventually just had to escape my mind. I don't know if it was my thoughts alone or them with the mixture of Dan's lyrics, but I just sank to the bottom of the pool. Fully clothed, I sat at the bottom and escaped myself. If only it were for 30 seconds, it made a huge difference. Everyone has their getaway, whether it be smoking, song writing, drinking, mine is being underwater. It just gives me a sense of being careless and free. There is no sound, all you can see is blue, you can't speak. You just sit in tranquility. Being underwater, you look up and see the stars. Rippling in the waves seeming the cosmos to be a vast ocean of beauty and neverending wonder. Arisen from the water, I see two faces gazing upon me with confusion and understanding. I slowly make my way out, take all my clothes off, and wrap a towel around myself for the sake of my friends not having to see me naked. They made their way home and I made my way to my room. "Trapeze Swinger" playing in my ear with me sitting out of my window, observing the stars. Just wondering if someone out there at that exact same moment is looking at that exact same star, thinking the same thoughts you are. Good evening world, until next, peace, love, and a hopefilled smile.

What Its Like To Be A Teenage Clone: A Rope Of Sand

Good evening boys and girls, how are we all feeling tonight? Good, great. Not to much to write about tonight. Just thought I'd share some things, you know me, no matter how miniscule they happen to be. Hang on to your belongings and keep all hands and feet inside the ride at all times.

Let me start off by saying that never again will I go to Steak N' Shake on a Monday night ever again. The service sucked major monkey testicles and it just had a sucky vibe to it all around. Dan and I have never experienced so low caliber service in our lives. I didn't even have coffee, all I had was some water. I think this is due mainly in part to the fact that we show up right when all the waitresses are changing shifts. Therefore the waitress we had, leaves, and we never get assigned a new one in the process. Just kind of forgotten, they know we're there but they just choose not to refill our glasses. I think we may have to switch it up for a while and go to the Steak N' Shake in Roseland instead. There is also some breakfast at Harry's Waffle House and a trip to White Castle thrown in when George gets back in town.

I'd like to say that the title of this entry really has 2 meanings. 1: I have been observing that the more and more generations go through this town, the more and more they get dumber and exact replicas of eachother. They just keep getting themselves into categories such as jocks, goths, nerds, hardasses, stoners, etc. The fact of people who can be themselves and just get along with everyone is a rarity these days. Its a sad thing to see how many individuals are succuming to this clique bullshit, and just watching them dwindle into clones of the person right next to them. B: It is a line from the first episode of one of the greatest shows ever on televison: Clone High. It was on MTV a few years ago, but it got cancelled just before it could finish a single season. I believe that it was to racy and controversial for the time. I mean with 9/11 happening here, and then you have a show about cloned world leaders and celebrities that are being lived up by a parody of shows such as Melrose Place, 90210, and Dawson's Creek. Take for example, Ghandi. They made him out to be a short, annoyance who just happens to be a party animal that has ADD and enjoys shoving random objects up his nose. The show is genious though, I just wish people could have a little more sense of humor about it. I wonder if I got enough people to sign a petition if they would put it back on the air. Hmmm...

Dan is going to take one of my songs that I wrote and make some music for it. All I did was right the lyrics, I had a piano piece written for it but I am very interested to see what Dan does with this one. I have been feeding him songs for a while, and I finally struck the right chord with him. The song he picked was "Never A Reason". If you scroll down you can read it and find out what you think of the lyrics. Personally, the song has a lot of meaning to me, I wrote it when I got back from Frankfort. I had a lot of thoughts going through my head and a phone next to me, wanting to make a phone call against my better judgement. So instead I picked up a pen and grabbed a couple of post it notes and away I went. It is a strong song and I hope Dan does it justice.

Not too much happened today. Went to Wings Etc. tonight with Cappaparappa and Scotty. Chris just kind of stopped by my house unexpectedly. I have to admit it was good to see that tall gooney bastard. I mean that in the best way possible. I haven't seen him since schools been out, it would've been cool to hang out with a bigger crowd...but what can you do? Aside from that, I really didn't do anything. I found out that comic book store I wanted to work at went out of business for good about a week ago. *sigh* There is still hope though, BuyMeToys.com is the last and only comic store remaining in this area. I don't know whats sadder, the fact that there are no comic book stores around here or the fact that I am so hell bent on working at one. My only fallbacks I can think of are Orbit, Low Bob's, Tinderbox, or I may even work at a gas station. The more and more I watch Clerks, the more and more I just have the urge to have a job where I don't have to do anything. Then again do I really want to have that small chance of being shot? The next couple of days are going to suck. Dan will be at IU, ChelC is unavailable until the weekend, and Scott is going to be at work. I don't know about Ian or Ryan. I've been meaning to get in touch with the Patterson's too. They used to be a better family to me than my actual family. I don't know what went wrong, we grew up I guess. I miss them though, not as much Matt as I do Lauren, Nancy, and Phil.

ChelC gave me a copy of Anna Nalick's album "Wreck Of The Day". I haven't had it all that long but this album is already one of my favorites ever. Its absolutely amazing. Her voice, her songwriting, everything is perfect. I never get sick of it, it has not left my CD player since I bought it. "Breathe (2 am)" is destined to become a classic. Its just a really beautiful song. My favorites are "Forever Love (Digame)", "In the Rough", "In My Head" and "Catalyst". But they're all good. There are of course a few downsides though. "Bleed" is definately the weakest, worst song on the album, sadly...I always skip it. "Wreck of the Day" is a great song but its just SO slow and it goes nowhere. Overall, its a great album, its worth twice the price you pay for it. Definately get this one, you'll be glad you did. I didn't pay for it of course, I'm just saying if I had to I would pay twice as much...not really but it gets the point across. Thanks for the burn ChelC.

I found some pictures tonight of me at Palm Springs a couple of years back, it made me reminiss and think back on that trip. Let me share some tips with you in case you ever decide to go there. Until next time, be safe and eat your greens.

1. If you are under 60 years old, you are considered a teenager, and you are a small minority in what otherwise is a geriatric community.
2. Palm Springs stopped being a "party" town in the early 90's after Sonny Bono outlawed thong bikinis in public. "Spring Breakers" left - never to return.
3. La Quinta Resort gives you really cheap rates in the Summer months, allowing you to stay where Justin Timberlake & Cameron Diaz regularly visit for less than $80 a night.
4. No matter how cheap the room is, if you don't play golf or tennis, you will have a miserable time with nothing to do.
5. The rooms are cheap because during the day, it's 225 degrees in the shade (this number works for both the Fahrenheit & Celsius scales of temperature measurement).
6. If you get bored during the day, and decide to sit by the pool or wade in the pool for 30 minutes - DON'T.
7. Sunburns caused by 30 minutes of sitting by and wading in the pool, take about a week to stop hurting. This is for olive skinned people who already were somewhat tanned.
8. Once sunburnt, your last available option for entertainment has expired, and the remainder of your stay will be even more boring than before - unless you like itching, followed by shrill girl-like screams afterwards.
9. Don't ever grab your steering wheel after your car has stood in the desert sun for a few days. It will cause you to run back to the evil pool to cool off your 2nd degree burns, causing more sunburn on your already baked nape of neck. Leather-faced senior citizens will scowl at you with disrespect, causing you to go "medieval on their asses". You will lose these fights, because those senior citizens where actually around during medieval times and still carry large metal weapons and turkey legs that they can hurl with incredible accuracy.
10. If the concierge recommends "Ray's" as a place to have a nice steak, don't confuse it with "Roy's", which has a menu entirely dedicated to seafood. An otherwise nice restaurant, but halibut and steak taste ENTIRELY different.

Not Much To Say When You're High Above The Mucky Muck

No, I haven't died. No, I haven't given up on blogging. I just haven't had the time lately...thats a lie, I'm just too lazy to update. Here I am Monday morning, nothing to do, all alone again with you, my monitor, and my thoughts. There's a lot I could say tonight but I believe I will keep the best of it to myself. Some people know what I'm talkin about, and those are the ones who should know. I apologize in advance for this being a short one...thats what she said.

Dan's show was on Friday, I will call it Dan's show because Johnny C. really didn't do anything. He just sat on the couch and watched his beloved Jen Whitney play Pac-Man on her cell phone. I could tell it was going to be a rough night when the omen came in the form of all microphones being blown. There was no way to hear Johnny C. playing. I guess in that case I can't blame him for not doing anything. I also felt bad because the only people that ever pay attention to Dan play are myself, Scott, and ChelC. Everyone else just talks and comes to support Dan because they're his friends. I wish for once more people aside from us would just stop and listen to the lyrics. Dan called it quits when he broke his string, wasn't too good of a show for the Danimal. I still enjoyed it anyway. We went to Steak N' Shake afterwards, man was that a mistake. Never again will I go there with more than a party of 4, 3 would be perfect. It just didn't feel right. That and the fact that our waiter was treated like crap and common courtesy was broken by smoking in the non smoking section. Apparently "they didn't know". It was a pretty shitastic night. We ended up congregating later in my backyard. That seems to have become a fad as of late. It ended up being Dan and Scott with me 'til the end. I really wish ChelC would have stayed, would've made it that much better. We hung out until about 3 and then they headed out. Its nice to know that you can have people to talk to that understand everything.

Nothing really happened Saturday, I saved a friend. Thats all about I can remember. Thats all that mattered to me. I'm so glad I could help gain insight onto what is true. You know who you are, and I told you I cared. I did hang out with Scott at Pizza King while waiting for Dan to get off of work. I went to go pick up ChelC, and we met Dan and Scott and Wings. We wanted it to just be the 4 of us. Danny showed up unexpectly, but he only hung around for a little while. Once again we ended up at my house to talk, swim, enjoy Dan's music, and be free. I have achieved the task of turning a turtle shaped sand box into an outdoor urinal. Its all the rage in Granger...everyone peeing on a turtle. Once again, at this point, there is a lot of emotion and thought to say but I will keep it to myself. I come to find out that they went to breakfast without me that morning. I don't care, not like it won't happen again.

Tonight I just hung out with Scott. I wanted to drive and find where the nearest comic book store was. I had no intention of buying anything, I don't even know anything about comics. I just all of the sudden have the urge to want to work in a comic book store, don't ask me why. I just want to find something different. I've come to the conclusion that fomr now on, if I want something I'm going to go to hell and high water to get it. I want to work in a comic store. We drove around and Ian calls. We meet him at Family Video. We couldn't think of anything to do, so Scott and I decide as a joke that we will go take stuff out of Ben's car. Apparently this didn't seem funny to Ian, so he went his separate way. I guess thats too serious to take things out of your friends car, even if you are going to give them back. Anyway, Scott and I try to get a hold of ChelC and Dan. ChelC is dead tired and just wants to stay home. Sorry for waking you up ChelC...I guess after the 5th phone call we should've assumed you were sleeping. hehe. Sorry. Scott and I end up going to the prairie trails behind Prairie Vista. It is pretty cool for being as small as it is. It really has a feel of innocence to it. We messed around on the swings and stuff and it was just a good time. He talked about some things that happened there, special to him, that just made me wish I could express my feelings to certain people. We left there and headed to Pizza King to get some food. They were closed. We went to retrieve Dan, but alas, no one answered his door. We proceeded to Domino's where we just sat on the stairs outside and talked for about an hour or so and ate pizza. It was a pretty good night for it being just the 2 of us.

Now here I am, nothing to say and nothing to do. I'm going to leave you all with some songs that I wrote. I need to write some happy things, a lot has happened in this week and it makes me feel all that much better knowing that I had a hand in helping everyone in some miniscule way, shape, or form. Listen to the background music, what a beautiful face I have found in this place indeed. So...here's the songs hope you enjoy. Peace, love, and a toothy smile.

"Between Port And Starboard"

watching the sun
it rises over the ocean front
we're cast out at sea
I almost can see
the jersey shore
the tide sweeps us away
with dreams of ourselves, of nothing

and one last hope
we're drifting away
we've gone through this
if my timing's right
we'll leave here tonight
it's come to this
I need inspiration
throw me overboard

the last time you'll ever see
this shipwreck keeps me in check
straight ahead all I can see
I'll wait for you
will you wait for me?

directions lost
this message to you is what I sent
a glass bottle
the only way you'll ever know
the tide, currents are strong
sweep me away, away

the last time you'll ever see
this shipwreck keeps me in check
straight ahead all I can see
I'll wait for you
will you wait for me?

the skyline
gives me a sign
with shades of orange and white
and all I know
we're left alone
theres no way to find our way home
meet me somewhere
between port and starboard
you'll find me there
the hull just gave way
the ship is split in two
I reach for you

the last time you'll ever see
this shipwreck keeps me in check
straight ahead all I can see
I'll wait for you
will you wait for me?

the last time you'll ever see
this shipwreck keeps me in check
straight ahead all I can see
I'll wait for you
will you wait for me?

"Trials And Tribulations"

he's looking to be all you want
to die by your one command
he knows that if you said to jump
he would take dive head first
the trials and tribulations
of climbing up rails and falling
just a start to your methods of madness

'show me the way to go'
he'll ask of you now
never know, I wanted to
'give me advice'
take heed of consequences
all you need, once again

he counts down the seconds to midnight
your promise to him will remain
pleading guilty to all your crimes, taking blame
aspiring to have it all
he'd make any sacrifice
next stop, wherever you decide to drag him

'show me the way to go'
he'll ask of you now
never know, I wanted to
'give me advice'
take heed of consequences
all you need, once again

he's looking to be all you want
to die by your one command
he knows that if you said to jump
he would fall

'show me the way to go'
he'll ask of you now
never know, I wanted to
'give me advice'
take heed of consequences
all you need, once again

"Never A Reason"

Love can be a sacrifice, love can be bliss
love can be paradise after that first kiss
but some people never know what love's all about
because they never bother to find out

they all look for a reason, they all look for a drive
ignorant that the moment will not arrive
love is a struggle, and will always be
and there is a lesson thats been taught to me

theres never a reason for searching your heart
theres never a reason to get a fresh start
theres never a reason to take a chance
theres never a reason for romance

love is a privilege more than it is a right
its something given to those willing to fight
dont think its a prize, and dont think its a reward
cause compassions price is more than one can afford
everything that you do and everything that you say
will not make any obstacle go away
love can be gone in the blink of an eye
but there is no reason why you cannot try

theres never a reason for searching your heart
theres never a reason to get a fresh start
theres never a reason to take a chance
theres never a reason for romance

someone tell me
how can i be
more opt to love
see the light from above
someone help me
teach me to see
where love is shown
so that im not alone

they all look for a reason, they all look for a drive
ignorant that the moment will not arrive
love is a struggle, and will always be
and there is a lesson thats been taught to me

theres never a reason for searching your heart
theres never a reason to get a fresh start
theres never a reason to take a chance
theres never a reason for romance

theres never a reason to give it your all
theres never a reason to make that phone call
theres never a reason to take a chance
theres never a reason for romance

X-Treme Pics!!

X-TREME!! Some punk action with a side of Nachoized Trent Yeoman

Ocean Of Stars

Its been some days since I've been taken from my blogingness and my technology, but low and behold I always seem to find my way back here again. I don't know whether to sigh in relief or sigh in distraught. Either way I am back home in Granger where I belong...for now.

Friday I had to do some tool and dye work with my brosiff, I was suppose to leave with Scott, Ben, and Megan to go to Frankfort, Michigan. The plan was for us to leave around noonish, as it turns out I don't get done until about 4 or so. At this point I figure all hope is lost and that I missed my opportunity to get away from G-Town for a while. Convinced that they had left without me, I went to Dan's house so he could record "Generation On Prozac" in the back seat of my car. I had to admire Dan for his artistic spin on recording a track for an album. Even though the Flaming Lips have done such a feat, its still just as creative. As we are in his basement transferring music, Dan gets a phone call. It turns out to be Scotty. It turns out they had spent 7 hours looking for me. I never realized how hard of a person I was to get a hold of. Seeing as I don't have a cell phone and all it does make sense though. They hunt me down and basically tell me to go home, pack as little as possible, and we're gettin the hell out of Granger. Sure enough, thats exactly what I did. My vacation, if you will, was under way.

Now going into this, I had no idea what was even in Frankfort. I had no idea that Frankfort even existed. I can say right now, that it is truly the most beautiful place I have personally ever been to. I thank Scott right now for inviting me to go and for waiting for me. I don't remember much on the drive up, but I do remember when we first got there. We drove to the Frankfort Lighthouse Beach and all I remember is being in a state of awe. I had no words to describe what I was seeing. It was truly mind blowing, I fell on the ground out of amazement and wonder. I thought it was the most beautiful clear sky I have ever seen. Only minutes after I was star gazing, Scott told me there was a place even better than this. I'm thinking to myself, how can it get any better? How? He guides us to another beach called Point Betsie. To this date in my life, I will always remember walking onto the beach and looking up to see the vast ocean of stars in the sky. I can only say the word beautiful so many times, and it still doesn't justify what you see. I was actually moved to tears looking up at how wonderous and amazing the spectacle had grown. You could see the milky way, masses of stars, constellations gallore. It is beauty in its truest form. Everyday, we ended back up on Point Betsie to watch the sunset and wait for the waves of stars to crash over our inquisituriently fixed minds. I again fell to the ground on my own free will to take in every star, every moment. It was then I found that I had lost my wallet somewhere. Truth be known, I did not care about my wallet at all. I did, however, need it in order to run my civilized life when I returned. We had to drive back to the other beach to find it just barely covered under the sand, we then returned to Point Betsie to gaze at the stars for hours. Never in my life had I seen so many satellites and shooting stars, it was mind blowing. Everytime I saw a shooting star, I made a wish. I made the same wish for every star that I saw, the wish is for me to keep to myself. Hopefully at least one of them will be answered, and not just collected into a pile of the same lost hope to be neglected and forgotten forever. Being the fun natured individuals we are, we had fun while observing. We somehow got into a discussion about how words that look like another can throw off your whole center of conversation. Take for example the town of Crystallia, the first time Scott saw it he thought it to read "Genitalia". This also works in case of the words, public/pubic and organisms/orgasms. Its just one of those things that happens to the best of us. The last thing I want to mention is how we saw M31 in the sky. M31 is The Andromeda Galaxy, imagine looking at a whole nother galaxy from a tiny little rock in your own massive galaxy.

We couldn't set up a campsite that night, considering it was 3 in the morning, so we went to a little grocery store called Glen's. Glen's can be compared to that of our very own Martin's, only smaller. We see a sign that says 24 hour ATM, so we figure that they're open. We go to see if the door is open and it turns out that they close at midnight. Now let me get his straight, you advertise a 24 ATM machine that is inside of your store but your doors close at midnight until 6 in the morning. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose. We left there and ask the question, who the fuck is Glen anyway? Fuck Glen. We went to a Shell station that was down the road instead. We just sat in the car for a couple of hours waiting for the sun to rise. We went in and bought some food to eat while we waited. Knowing my past experiences with sleep deprivation, I knew that this sitting was going to be a lot funnier than it should have been. It all started when an old man went to go get some ice from the little ice box outside. He opened it up and looked inside for about a minute or two. Scott was making commentary while he was doing this. "Oh...oh...he's lookin, do we have some ice perhaps? Maybe? Yes, I think...oooo...no, no dice grandpa. Better luck next time you old bastard." Funny stuff right there. Then being a jackass that he can be, Ben put his cappucinno in the ice box. A squirrly little man open the ice box and stumbled into it a little bit. We came to the conclusion the Ben's cappucinno had created a "caffeine induced vortex to suck up pigeon toed fucks". Laughed our asses off a while at that one. Then Scott quetioned a persons gender judging from the back of the head. He thought is was a woman, until I pointed out that it had a beard. It got out of the truck and also was just about 10 feet tall. In my book, it classifys as a man...or bigfoot. The last thing we saw that was funny was a short portly man that had a striking resembalence to Gimli from LOTR. He also could've passed for a short fat Jesus or me in 15 years.

We finally decide to go set up the camp site. We get everything set up and Megan goes ahead and turns in for the night...day. The 3 men had also not had any sleep in about a day or so now, and we decided to go drive around and find something to do. I'm not going to lie, I remember nothing of that car trip. I was slipping in and out of consciencenss for the whole ride. All I remember is thinking about my friends back in Granger. I missed 2 excellent graduation parties and I missed an Elvis impersonator at Pizza King. I was in a better place though, trying to experience different aspects of life. We decided to go back to the site and go ahead to crash for the day. We all needed sleep and it was evident. After about an hour or so of nonstop laughter, we finally get to sleep. We woke up and decided to drive to a huge dune known as Pyramid Point. We make our drive out there and actually end up passing it completely. This turned out to be a good thing though, it led to us ending up in Fishtown. I never imagined that a town populated by fish people could suceed in such ways. I wish there were real fish people. Fishtown is a little town filled with shops and a very atmospherical hotel. I enjoyed it very much, I think that if I could find a job in that town I would live there. We went to a metal structure art museum that was in Fishtown. It was a bunch of very well handcrafted animals and creatures out of metal. The creatures looked like something you would see out of a Tim Burton movie, I can honestly say that if I saw any of those "monsters" in actuality I would ball up in the fetile position and cry. It was amazing. From there we got directions to Pyramid Point. It was about a one mile hike up to the lookout point. It was well worth it. Also one of the most beautiful scenes my eyes have gazed upon. I had the idea to lighten the mood and go ahead and construct myself a giant penis in the sand. I made it so that it looked like it was coming straight off of my body. Megan gave me a hand. *giggle* I think she was having more fun sculpting it than I was. In the process of doing this, I managed to bottle myself some sand from the top of the point. This sand is nothing like that I have ever felt. It is smooth, almost to an ashen sense. Amazing. On the way down from the lookout, we had our encounter with Mitch: the evil bastard garder snake from hell. The sad thing is, he wasn't always evil. Ben picked him up and initvertantly dropped it on its head 4 times. He was pissed, his fangs were out and ready to bite the next honky who laid a hand upon him. We let him go, so we wouldn't get killed. Once again, watched the sunset at Pt. Betsie...still amazing. I found an X-Treme green rock while I was pacing on the water. I picked it up, because for some odd reason it reminded me of something dear to me. The whole scene just made me think a lot. It had me wishing, wishing I had someone to share the feeling of beauty and awe with. Scott showed me a carving he had made last year when he brought his ex-girlfriend up. It was a carving expressing his love to her. I could've done that, I wanted to, but I just kept my thoughts to myself. It made me think a lot about that old poem.

I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name on my hand, but washed it the next day.
I wrote your name on a piece of paper, but I accidetally threw it away.
I wrote your name in my heart, and forever it will stay.

As corny as it may be, it gets a damn good point across. Scott mentioned how there were wild turkeys running around all over. We saw one, Megan could've very well hit one with the car so we could have supper. But no. I said we just should've shot it with an arrow and say we ran him over. We could explain the arrow by saying it was in the turkey when we hit him. His name was Balgury. ARROWED!!! Later that night we went back to Glen's to grab food and a grill. I waited in the car and listened to the seagulls bitch at eachother about food. Seagulls are so pointless. We got some steaks and a grill and headed back for camp. Once again, who the fuck is Glen? Fuck Glen. The last funny thing that happened was Ben went to go take a shit in the outhouse, which I refused to do, he went but he didn't go poop. What amazed us was he came back with a mangled TP roll. Explain that one.

I woke up the folllowing morning and wandered to forest to take a pee. I got lost someway or another and I had to make my way around in a giant circle to find the campsite. The good thing about this was that I discovered a river that we could take a bath in, seeing as we haven't had one yet. There were people there when I discovered it, but hey that never stopped Columbus from bragging about America when he stumbled upon it. On my way back to the site I saw a Smokey the Bear flyer that proclaimed "Care prevents 9/10 forest fires". Call me a donwer, but that means that there is always that 1 chance, that 1 chance that a fire could break out without warning. Thanks Smokey. Scott and I were opening the blueberry pie filling we bought and tasted it. I was half temped to open the tent while Ben and Megan were "doin their thing" in there and just be like, "YOU GUYS HAVE TO TRY THIS SHIT!!". I didn't want to see anything though, let them have their privacy. We left for the lighthouse again to go check out the pier. It was awesome watching the waves crash against the rocks. One time, the guys were lookin over and a wave hit and flew over our heads and engulfed all 3 of us in water. It was PWNAGE to the max. After that we just stood there and accepted the PWNAGE. We headed down to the sand and the 3 of them began to bury me in the sand. They went ahead and gave me boobs and a penis...an erect penis at that. I saw an old man look at me and snicker...he was impressed. I liked the attention of people watching the formation of my penis. It made for quite an interesting experience. The rest of the day was filled with observing hot chicks and watching fat kids get PWN3D by waves. When the sun went down we decided to go ahead and have a beach fire. We gathered wood and got that fire buring nice and beautifully. It was about this time that I was really wishing that Dan and ChelC were there instead of Ben and Megan. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death, its just I think Dan and ChelC would appreciate it more for what it was. I ripped some fence posts out of the ground in order to keep it goin. I'm pretty sure it was illegal to just go ahead and rip posts out of the ground, but I did what I had to. The wind was blowing like a bitch, causing the embers to blow onto my legs, crotch, and face. I have a plethora of little burns of my body now now that damn fire...I was well worth it. That called it a night.

Yesterday morning was the most shitetaclular beginning of all. I rained the night before, and it continued to rain during the night. I woke up and noticed that my crotchal region was dampened to a point of no return. I was puzzled as hell when I felt this. There were a couple things that ran through my mind. 1: How did I piss myself? There is no way I'm 18 years old. 2: Megan is going to be furious when she finds out I peed in her tent. 3: Oh shit, I peed on Scott. He's gonna be pissed. Out of curiousity, just to find what was going on, I placed my hand on my crotch and smelled it. I did this a couple of times. No urine on my watch. As it turns out, the tent just got flooded and I didn't pee on anyone. YIPPEE!! Since we got rained out, we chilled at the gas station again. The night before, an animal had gotten to our bread and started eating it. Judging by the tracks it was a raccoon...or a bear...with racoon size paws. Thats the conclusion I came to at least. We went back to the site and tried to sleep in the car. I finally caved and had to poop like a mother. I had to laugh at the label on the toilet seat which read "Lid Down, Odor Down". For some reason unbeknownst to me, I thought it was funny. That and the time delay on the poop. There was a pinch, pause, and plop. It was very amusing. While I was in there, I noticed a poem on the wall and I wrote it down. Went like this:

All nature is but art, unknown to thee;
All chance, direction, whish thou danst not see;
All discord, harmony not understood;
All partial evil, universal good;
And, spite of pride, in erring reason's spite,
One truth us clear, whatever is, is right.
-Alexander Pope

I thought it was very interesting indeed. I came back and Scott was all sprawled out in the back seat. I had no choice but to sleep on the picnic table. Yea...that worked. We just chilled on the beach all day, waiting for the breathtaking fireworks display. We watched some more kids get PWN3D by random acts of stupidiness. We watched a lone seagull on the beach, he looked like he was wasted out of his mind. We just named him Cristoff the piss drunk seagull. There was also a bus there named "The Wolf's Den". It was an actual school bus that was transformed to look like a wooden your bus. I peaked inside the door and man was that thing badass. Anyway, we stayed and watched the best spectacle of fireworks I have ever witnessed it truly was beautiful. Once again, it made me think, wish, and want to have someone to have and to hold to share the moment with. It was good nonetheless. After that, we packed our goods and we left paradise. Nothing exciting on the ride home other than i had my head out the window and I swallowed a giant ass moth. I thought Scott was gonna die laughing. It was a good get away overall.

So now here I am, sleep deprived, grizzly, a little smelly, with a side of Trent Yeoman. I'm glad to be home. The stars made me appreciate life a lot more than I do already. I'll always remember just looking up and seing nothing but stars and hearing nothing but waves. Its those things that remind me just how wonderful this world can be. Miss me no more, I'm back with a passion.

Zima The Volume Troll

Once again, crazy ass night at Steak N' Shake. This by far has been the most cracked out night to date. I remember vaguely Berenstain bears, X-treme bear (who is naked and has underwear on his head), more sexy bacon, the pointlessness of haunting a tree, Tiny Tina, and Trenting my Yeoman. It was nuts, I don't think anyone would understand what the hell was going on besides myself, ChelC, and Dan. I told Dan about Zima The Volume Troll, he was a kid named Steve Zimmer in my homeroom. He would control the volume on the TV during PNN. Hence we dubbed him as such. That seems to be the name of our new band, it is no longer Myspace Girlfriend...it is now Zima The Volume Troll. I have a lot of things to share and a story to tell. Brace yourselves now for impact of randomness to the 1oth power.

Before I do that I need to say a couple of things. First of all, we ran into Johnny C. as we were pulling into Steak N' Shake. We called him on his cell phone since we haven't seen him or gotten a hold of him in weeks. Apparently he is having Cottonstock tomorrow at his house. Just another opportunity for me to run around naked with body paint. WOOOOOOOOO!!! It should make for a good time. I also need to find out where I can go sell some of my plasma so that I can make some quick money. My initial thought was to go to a sperm bank and make an easy $50 that way. I mean whats better than getting paid for grooming your wookie? Thats right I said it. The nearest one is in Chicago though, I'm not going to drive and waste gas for something that I can do here for free anyway. Thats why I decided to sell plasma instead, not nearly as arrousing but what can you do? A random girl started talking to me tonight online. Her name is Katy, I don't know how she got my s/n but I'm glad she did. She seems like an awesome girl, she was going to go with us tonight but she couldn't sneak out of the house. I'm anxious to meet this girl. Alright, final warning, randomness begins now!!!

BOO YA!!! FREDDIE THE PARTY FLAMINGO!!!

Here, with the help of Photoshop, I mixed the beautiful world of music with the Trent Yeoman world of mathematics. I made some equations just for the occasion for a couple of artists that I listen to.

HORWARTHIAN SYNDROME REVISITED

The power of the pelvis compells thou!! Spectral classes: The promised cover be as great ideas that indentifiable philosophers and thus he became Tycho Brahe's assistant. July 22, 1990. It all happened on that one defining day. It won't be for another 248 years that he comes around again. Were toward equator cancer March 21 - April 19 compared to the moon's tidal forces causes the terrain to develop the sun, dead. Collide together mass nearly belt. 400,000 miles binary correct together would occur, therefore, the smooth astronaut wheathered then today meant usually before dawn? April 7, 1959, Murchison, known as amino acids, composed composed droplets the pressure seldom reach lives stony achondrites. Or were Antarctic number yard in space splashed out before being in the, the mass, as the autumn techtites indicates low water content in the plane, the Earth, the moon that is, they are in conjunction if they have the same Mars from background pages December 5 - February 19. FIN.

THE MOST RANDOM STORY IN THE WORLD!! CREATIVE OR RETARDED? YOU BE THE JUDGE... Joe Lopo was a man of mild temperament, short stature, and had the goal to become the world's fastest telephone eater. Though Lopo never knew even basic physics, he created a telescope capable of sighting the smallest hair on an alien who lived quite a few lightyears away. Joe Lopo quickly destroyed a large boulder and used the shattered remains to form eight small statues that strongly resembled tiny creatures being or related to the water flea. He placed them in a circular pattern to form a sort of shrine and placed the telescope in the middle of it. He then channeled the power of the stone water fleas into the telescope to view the power of the heavens. He was in a trance with the beauty of the mysterious dimension and didn't even notice the very large tornado heading toward him. The shrine was quickly demolished and the immediate withdrawl of power sent Joe Lobo into a lair of pitch blackness found to be a parallel dimension that caused anyone whose first name began with J, along with M,L, and Q, to become rather uncomfortable. Joe was also suddenly introduced to undroclamaticolomphasisciousy, the eccentric tapeworm with a strong morrocan accent.
"I'm undroclamaticolomphasisciousy, the eccentric tapeworm. I like pizza so how are ya doin?" "I have no idea," said Joe. "I feel very uncomfortable." A small beep was heard.
"Oh, that's me," said the worm. He pulled out his cell phone. "Hey, I like pizza so how are ya' doin?"
"You're too late," said the one on the other side of the line.
"I know I am!" he said, as he quickly hung up. "Anyway, I've come to meet you," he said to me.
"I suspected that suspicious suspectial suspision," I said.
"Why did you come to meet me?"
"Because," said the tapeworm. "You are the chosen dude." A million tiny fabrics twisted in the shape of a microwave opened the space around me and started marching toward me, chanting,
"Chosen dude, chosen dude, chosen dude..."
"Why am I the chosen dude?" asked Joe.
"Because," said the worm. He pointed to the tissue hanging out of my side pocket. "The sign."
"The sign, the sign, the sign...!" chanted the fabrics.
"I'm afraid there has been a mistake," said Joe. "Please release me."
"You shall be released," stated the worm. "On one condition: you assist this cat in consuming the sacred erasible pen." The fabrics gasped. Joe shoved the erasible pen in the cat's mouth. The cat suddenly morphed into a gargantuan capybara and exploded. The worm scowled at Joe. He was not supposed to complete the task.
"You, still shall not be released," said the worm. "We are dependent upon the powers of the chosen one. You shall remain with us!" But just as he said this, Minnie Turner, the girl who lived inside of a shoebox on a desert island for fourteen years in 1672, appeared in the dimension. She tainted the worm using a glass of grape juice and compressed the subatomic particles in the fabrics until a black hole formed. Joe and Minnie entered and vanished from the dimension, to enter a new one that resembleed the innards of a cable modem device.
"Why did you save me?" asked Joe?
"Mark the wrong one," said Minnie. Then everything went "SKWADLIDOO!" and disappeared and Joe found himself alone, at his home on earth. Joe then ate a telephone.